Without question the last few weeks have been poles apart from others in my now lengthy life, and I quite expect that until my last day on earth has come and gone, I will never experience such ones again. Additionally, I am of the strong opinion that you who read here join me in this state of affairs. From east to west and north to south our amazing planet has been affected by COVID-19. We have been turned upside down and shaken to our core as this pandemic has swept through the peoples of the world.

New words, phrases and other concerns envelop us. We practice social distancing, cover our faces with masks, spray our mail with disinfectants, renew our understanding of our constitution, learn of new internet tools, deal with emptied grocery shelves, giggle about toilet paper hoarding, grapple with human rights and with being quarantined–among a myriad other issues.

I will deal with none of these in this post–except at a slant. The quarantine has nixed group gatherings including church services. For weeks now I have not been to church, and I’m missing it dreadfully. Oh, we’ve had live-streaming of preaching and teaching and choir singing and other music. We have watched baptisms in bathtubs and in nearly deserted church sanctuaries. We have paid our tithe and given our offerings over the internet. We have been spiritually stirred, intensified our personal devotions, and have had numerous prayer meetings in our living rooms. Candid discussions have evolved that speak to the positive results of this situation. I believe all that . . .but I want to go back to church.

I want to be with you. I want to shake your hand and hug your neck. I want to see what you’re wearing today and how you’ve styled your hair. I want to open my Bible and follow my pastor as he delivers the Word of God–and as he spouts off those phrases he uses all the time. I want to feel the fidget of the youngsters, observe the flirting lowered eyes of the beautiful young ladies, admire the strength and handsomeness of the young men. I want to pray with you. I want to admire you who struggle with walkers and pain and poverty. I want to hear the choir and the soloists and the keyboard and the drums and read the words on the screen and sing with you. I want to dig in my purse for my dollars and when the pan or the bag is passed, I want to drop it in.

I want to hold your baby.

I want to pray with you. I want to stand by you and weep, and take your hand.

I want to be there–in the church of the living God–as His intense presence moves over the congregation . . .and sometimes we know angels are there . . .and we are silent, not daring to speak. I want to be there when animated joy elicits words of praise that rise from our throats . . .our hands are raised . . .hallelujahs ring. Dance. I want to see you dance in worship, as only you can.

I want to interact with young families and see them pose for pictures after the worship service. I want to go out to eat with you, and plan outings and parties, and tell you how much you mean to me.

I want to have fun and honor you and cherish you.

Yep, I’m done with it. As wonderful as this live-streaming and such has been I’m through with it. As soon as we get the permissive word, on Saturday night I will lay out my clothes and choose my shoes and my purse, and I will set out my little red Bible. On Sunday morning we will not be late, but will rush to our sanctuary, our church, our people. Once again, an exhilarated group now, we will enter into His majestic courts. Our praise will fill the temple.

22 thoughts on “I Want to go back to Church

    1. Yes!!! A thousand times YES!!! I want to unlock the front doors…I want to welcome the first to come in. I want to hear the choir practice and watch as final prep is made. And when it begins…Glory to GOD!!!! We enjoyed the electronic church. Heard wonderful music. Heard Powerful messages from my Pastor and other men of GOD…but I want to worship with my Brother…my Sister!! Thank y Sister Buxton for bringing it to us!!!!

  1. Tears ran down my cheeks as I read the wonderful instances we took for granted but now miss so deeply!! I have been so reminded that this world is not my home but until We hear the sound of that trumpet – Jesus let us gather with the saints of God and worship in corporate worship!!! Love you Shirley Buxton!! Thanks for putting it in such perfect wording!!

    1. It was after Jerry had been involved in that terrible accident so many years ago that I came to understand how precious is being able to attend church. If its a young man just starting out and the sermon is less than conference worthy (but who am I so say?) or if the music is “off” one night, or if the attendance is scarce, we are ministered to in ways we do not understand–until such opportunity is snatched from us. Love you so very much.

  2. Oh my, Sister Buxton. This moved me and touched me so much. You have expressed what so much of us feel, so adequately. I too, want to go to church. This is a beautiful and timely post. I love you.

  3. Oh my word, Sis. Buxton, I am in tears. How much I miss church!! I’m sad to say that before this I had taken going to church for granted. If I didn’t get to too many people to shake their hand, no problem….I’d shake later. Now I feel it’s wayyyyy past time. I need people. Online singing isn’t really doing it for me. I love hearing my Pastor, Bishop, brother, friends preach online, but I want to be in the sanctuary. I want to hear the amens!! I miss church!! I’m so over this quarantine!!! Love you so much!!!!

  4. Sis. Buxton, You said it all for us. Those special unforgotten moments together as a family in the Sanctuary. Thank you
    There’s nothing more precious in this world than to be in the House of God with God’s people. … the pillar and ground of truth.. God Bless you Sis. Buxton it’s good to hear from you.

    1. Oh, how much I love you Brother and Sister Trejo and the beautiful people in your church. I think of you frequently and pray God is healing the hurt of the death of your grandson. So very sorry.

  5. Thank you for sharing . I think we can all connect with your hearts cry.
    You have played a part in my decision to start a blog.
    Thewarriorsheartcry.wordpress.com

  6. Sis. Buxton, you are able to express so well the feelings that are in our hearts and minds. Thank you so much for putting it in words how we are feeling.

  7. Oh such true words, dear Shirley! And to mourn with those who mourn, and allow others to mourn with and comfort us in loss. We are created to be in relationship and I long for that return as well. Much love!

    1. Carol, you raise such a timely issue, one with which you are only too aware. The mourning! Oh, how we need the Church when it is our time to mourn. I wish I could stand beside you today, my friend, hold your hand, and weep with you for your loss. We need each other so much. Oh, I know God is our ultimate comfort, but He created us in such a way that we also need each other. My continued love and blessings.

  8. I have been blessed to be one of the few on the team that makes live streaming happen for Victory Tabernacle in Burbank. My prayer before each service has been that God would meet each family in their homes, but I have prayed the most for those who are single or living with family members who are not interested in God. We need the strength of each other.

    But I am looking forward to the day when seats are filled once again. When we can hear the praises of God’s people as they go up. My song choice for our first service ~ I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord. I came running!!! when they said unto me! Let us go into the house of the Lord. I’m believing for great things when that day comes.

    1. Shh…it’s a secret, but I’m working on the writing of a post that will speak to that very thing–our return to the house of the Lord Again, it’s a secret but what do you think of a flash mob scenario!! I would love that. From the baby class, to us elders, to the youth department, to the music department . . .we would all rise and lift the rafters in praises. What other songs could we sing? “It Feels so good just being here again,” could be one……..love you

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